I do not feel comfortable with limitation and boundaries that limit my experience and expression. therefore the wideheld dogma that love, sex and the deeper connection and exchange they allow should be limited to one partner for the duration of your relationship or life does not resonate with me. there is a deliciousness in exploring the breadth and depth of intimacy with a partner over years and going through shifts together, growing, changing, drifting apart and getting closer. yet why limit this just to one person, when every person mirrors back other aspects and facettes of your inner life to you and challenges you to grow in ever new ways and you feel drawn to another? who said you cannot experience this with more than one partner? just because, culture, religion or tradition tells you thats the way its supposed to be?
when monogamy arises naturally from within live it with joy. but if its a belief that contradicts your emotional and physical reality, wouldn’t it be wise to look into opening yourself to exploring your feelings and grow instead of living inauthentically?
step into your power and live what resonates with you heart and soul and do not allow society or fears to limit your aliveness and unique expression of life!
remember love is about finding freedom in commitment!
“Forget about enlightenment. Sit down wherever you are and listen to the wind that is singing in your veins. Feel the love, the longing and the fear in your bones. Open your heart to who you are, right now, not who you would like to be. Not the saint you’re striving to become. But the being right here before you, inside you, around you. All of you is holy. You’re already more and less than whatever you can know. Breathe out, look in, let go.” ~ John Welwood
self love is more than being your best friend, it is about being present with yourself every day and every moment listening intently to the whispers of your soul, heart and body and giving yourself with joy what you need, want and wish for.
"Positive thinking is the psychological version of plastic surgery for the body. It doesn’t work.
Positive thinking is really thinking that is totally obsessed with negativity, focused on negativity, at war with negativity, which is very negative when you think about it.
Positive thinking simply masks flaws, imperfections, quirks, uniquenesses, covering up the ‘dark’ aspect of experience but never really dealing with it, facing it, embracing it, healing it, loving it. We may feel better temporarily, but there are no true external sources of happiness.
The dualistic mind divides positive from negative, light from dark, and then tries to heal this self-created wound through more division, more war. But no matter how much mental or physical plastic surgery you undergo, you still end up feeling incomplete and far from Home. War cannot end war. Darkness cannot end darkness. Light is the power.
What if you are not the mind at all? What if both positive and negative aspects are allowed to come and go in the vastness that you are, like clouds in the sky, like waves in the ocean? What if no amount of plastic surgery, no ‘perfect body’ or ‘perfect mind’, could ever lead you to your true nature, which is already shining in the midst of the seeming imperfection?
Positive thinking creates negative thinking. That’s the one thing you can be positive about.”
"At the first kiss I felt Something melt inside me That hurt in an exquisite way All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, All the secrets that slept deep within me came awake, Everything was transformed and enchanted And made sense.” ~ Hermann Hesse
"This study is the first to show that the infant calming response to carrying is a coordinated set of central, motor, and cardiac regulations that is an evolutionarily preserved aspect of mother-infant interactions, the researchers say. It also helps to have a scientific explanation for the frustration many new parents struggle with… a calm and relaxed infant will often begin crying immediately when he or she is put down.
"A scientific understanding of this infant response will save parents from misreading the restart of crying as the intention of the infant to control the parents, as some parenting theories—such as the ‘cry it out’ type of strategy—suggest," Kuroda says. "Rather, this phenomenon should be interpreted as a natural consequence of the infant sensorimotor systems." If parents understand that properly, perhaps they will be less frustrated by the crying, Kuroda says. And that puts those children at lower risk of abuse.”
☆ change of basic paradigms in relationships & sexuality ☆
although long this is a great article questioning the beliefs and paradigms our society has taken on board with regards to relationships and sexuality. to read how these affects our perceptions and solutions for the challenges we face in our relationships and sexuality according to david schnarch is refreshing and inspiring a new paradigm that deeply resonates with me and experiences of our spiritual path. let yourself be inspired to experience more and deeper intimacy in your life!
"Conventional wisdom and common experience suggests that marriage kills sex, love, and intimacy. But it’s not marriage that destroys sex and intimacy; it’s how we go into marriage and the marriage we create according to our beliefs and abilities. And then we develop therapies, also in our own image. After all, who’s creating the therapies? Freud said we marry our neuroses. If you’re a Freudian, you think everything’s going right when your marriage works that way. And if you believe the purpose of marriage is to heal each other’s childhood wounds, then that’s the way you steer your marriage - and the therapy you do. But when we recognize that marriages are people-growing machines, we can harness the natural growth processes built into the system. It’s the end of the notion of ‘working on the relationship’, and the beginning of realizing that the relationship is working on us - to develop and grow, although not necessarily in ways we appreciate or like at the time."
“When we reveal ourselves to our partner and find that this brings healing rather than harm, we make an important discovery — that intimate relationship can provide a sanctuary from the world of facades, a sacred space where we can be ourselves, as we are… This kind of unmasking - speaking our truth, sharing our inner struggles, and revealing our raw edges - is sacred activity, which allows two souls to meet and touch more deeply.” ~ John Welwood
“dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of love — which is to transform us.” ~ John Welwood